It’s a book about an English guy who worked and lived in France for a one-year project. This paragraph is about the time he went back to UK as his boss suspended the “English tea house” project because of the concern about the eventual breakout of a war in Iraq, which, for innocent and peace-loving French people Uk was one of the war criminals who assist evil Americans.

The following situation is true, since I have experience kinda the same thing just not so dramatic. For a long time I could not pronounce “Journalist” and “Personnel” right. When talking to a French guy, I said “do u want a cup of coffee (in French) or something (in English). And the beloved Huang Feifei even asked for a “Battery (pronounced in a French way B a tei r i)” and stunned the sales assistant for quite a moment.

"……

I nipped into my parents’ local branch of M&S, and they’d changed the whole place around since my last visit at Christmas. So I went up to a young sales girl and asked her: “Where are the…?”

Blank. The first word that popped into the pre-speech compartment of my brain was “slip”. This is not a petticoat. It is the French word for what I wanted, and I’d been hearing it a fair amount from Marie (his girl friend), as in “take off your sleep, Pol (His name, Paul, Pol to represent the French accent)”.

By this time, the M&S sales assistant was sure I’d gone into a catatonic trance, and was frowing up at me as if she thought I might suddenly collapse on top of her.

“Underpants!” I shouted joyfully, and the poor girl jumped back a yard.

“First floor, on the left,” she replied nervously, and went off to alert security that there was a male underwear fetishist with a long-delay stammer heading up the escalator."

Don't know what my Indian flat mate was thinking the moment I shouted to him in the middle of smoke "Sorry, it is me, I burnt my pan, and a plastic bow, now, get out here before it is too late". Maybe he was thinking "I knew it! From the first time I saw this crazy Chinese guy burnt his pan I have prepared for this to happen; only it came a little bitter earlier than I expected, and when I was sleeping! That's the curse dropped on me when I met this guy. YES, THE CURSE!"

Then I went to the porter, and told him in very low voice, “The fire is on 8^th floor” he said “o? 8^th? Who triggered the alarm? Is that you?” I buried my face into my hands, “yes, yes, it was me, I am the criminal, but please, please don’t tell others, because if they knew it, they would kill me”

Then I saw my little “iron wired teeth” flat mate, he was leaning back on a pillar outside the building, seemed very sleepy. I told him it was me who smoked out all the people and I was sorry. He took a glance at me, “o, it’s ok”… It was not the kind of response I expected, it seemed he had already known that this would happen, and was not even a little bitter surprised!”

My dear lord, from now on, I am Yueshen, the Arsonist. haha

Once my “big brother” told me that he spent almost 100 pounds in buying shots for his beloved and extreme sociable MBA classmates during a normal party, (party a regular event for them) it just jumped into my head that maybe MBA really means Money Burning Association, not Master of Business Administration.

Mentioning the playing with word thing, there are also other well known examples: MBA-Married but available (but I think it just demonstrates how desperate the ladies in MBA program are, they wish they were married, and they also wish they could go beyond that stage, and have some “Fantasies”. But I have to say, it’s just a wish, can you imagine a woman with family could and would actually let go everything she had and pursuit some unrealistic dream…

I don’t why there are all these titles, and among them, the price of most stupid title should be awarded to the “PHD”, for me, they are just “Pretty hardworking dummies”, here, my “target victims” are just PHD of business related subjects. So why? Because they spend so much time on constructing over-simplified models, which have nothing to do with the real world business. The y like teach students in the way that makes these innocent little guys think they are the powerful GOD who know s everything. And they are unbelievably arrogant so whenever there is a chance to show their names, they must be headed by “Dr”…It just remains me a scene in the TV series Friends: when Rose goes with Rachel to visit her father, who is in the hospital because of a heart attack. They meet the nurse, and Rose introduces himself by “I’m Rose, Dr. Rose”. Then Rachel says “Oh, come on Rose, we are in the hospital, this word actually means something here”.

Actually I prefer another story. Last time one of my friends told me that in Japan, they give a title X. to men who have had sex to over 100 women…Freaks! You Japanese…But girls, can you imagine the feeling when one day you were in Japan, and you passed by a house with X.Name. on the door? I give you an advice here, just run! Run for your life! Or, to be proactive, maybe you should never consider going to Japan…

I have talked a lot about establish my own business with my friends. And I often find that when I have the idea, I don’t have the money, and when eventually I have the money, maybe there would be no more such chance.

First, when graduate, in the most cases, you are full of passion, so willing to start your own business and gain a lot of money: like these GOOGLE guys sitting on the golden mountain while still young enough to enjoy the life. But often, when you find himself too passionate to resist the promising future of that, you suddenly realized that he got no money (after all, we are not those who born will golden spoon)! The situation is just like after all the seduction and flirting, you think you can actually get it, as desperate as it is, you can’t find a condom!!!

One reasonable choice you can make is to find a job first, and then, when you got enough money and experience, Bing! You can finally run your own business and fulfill your delayed dream. But take the above example…Often, when you say embarrassingly that you will actually go and buy a condom, the moment has already passed.

So the question raises as you got only two options: first, still do it, but it would be RISKY, naturally; second, let it go the sex, and say, ok, maybe we can do it next time…God knows if you will have a “next time”!

I have been sending CVs and Resumes these days and it seems to me that seeking a job is not much different from distributing leaflets in the street for the promotion of a new released Coke.

Both of these two activities have the purpose of making a sale or increasing the brand awareness for the future potential purchase, the only difference is one sales a product, and the other sale a person, me, in this case.

Both of the two activities involve identifying a target market, here, teenagers for Coke and Marketing, PR, Advertising, Consulting, Fast consumable goods, Luxury product companies for me…you see, at lease I can be used by a broader range of customers, good, isn’t.

When somebody is distributing leaflets, he will say “Hey dude, wanna try the new Coke?” and when applying for a job, it always begins will “Dear sir/madam”. Hey! I am actually trying to sell a real man, shouldn’t be more formal?

In case of promotion, usually, there would have some discount coupons, or instant reduction of price such as “Buy three for the price of two, or Buy one get one free”. When applying for a job, especially for the first time, one may not even dare to mention the salary, and if it shall be an internship: Jesus, just take me, free of charge, I beg you…Sooooo cheap…

In order to position the new product and highlight its features, there may be “Coke, Diet Lime” on the package. For me, they are all kinds for craps on my CV.

Diet: Good for your health and fitness…ideal for women who take care of themselves. My CV: Strong academic background will help me perform in the work, and contribute to the company, if you are looking for someone who is competent, that would be me!

Lime: New taste, enhance your classic Coke experience. My CV: Have you ever heard a Chinese guy studied in all most all the imperialist countries? Hire me, feel the multinational experience!

Coke: Energy---295KJ   My CV: TOEFL---620

Coke: Customer service---XXX XXXXXXX  My CV: Contact---XXX XXXXXXX

………………..

Françaises, Français, cette année… en premier je vous souhaite surtout la santé… Je vous la souhaite vraiment… parce qu’avec ce qu’on va faire à la Sécu ça ne sera pas une année pour tomber malade.

 (From www.canalplus.fr)

French people, French people, this year...at first, I wish you, above all, healthy...I really wish that...because with what we will do to the Secu (National health program, public health insurance...) it will not be a year for falling sick.

Once, on the BBS of 6park.com, somebody posted some photos about soldiers, male and female, of different countries. Then, someone replied, “Hey, lookout, there is a photo with NAKED girl in it!”…After sometime he concluded, “It was just a test, after I had said the naked stuff, the hit point of that message jumped by over 2000”. Damn it…I was so ashamed…because, to be honest, I was some 1/2000 of it.

Now somebody says it is an economy of attention, everything is about gaining the attention. One time I asked my friend how could I be famous, she said, if you were a girl, it would be easy, just be sexy…but as the tension of competition is mounting these days, maybe just verbal seduction and photos are not enough, filming a porn might be a blockbuster…since you are a man, there are not many options: either being GAY (which is already not very special now, gays are all around these days) or running NAKED around the People’s Square.

I have no intention to take what she suggested: first, I won’t consider being a gay because I am not yet so desperate, because after all there is still some chance, although slim, that I could find a girl friend; second, although running naked around People’s Square would catch enough attention but it would be risky, I might be caught and be accused as a member of FaLongG although my actions were not so self-destructive as theirs. So…being a common people is fine for me, at least for now.

It took me 8+3 hours to fly from Seattle to Shanghai, and it was during this flight I finally realized that no matter which airline I choose and where I go that would be no in-flight romance…. I am 100 percent sure that this kind of adventure would never happen to me. Some time I just wonder maybe I am some kind of insulator that keep pretty girl far away from me. Or, in other words I have a magnetic field around me that keep attracting ugly old bald man or wield dressed lady. And I should announce, I am definitely not a gay!!!

This time, in the flight from Tokyo to Shanghai, while I was praying that there would be a pretty girl sitting next to me, an ugly old bald man like I mentioned above sat down and pulled me back into the sad and even desperate reality. Maybe I should not mock at him, but when the airhostess asked him whether he want fried rice or omelets, he just kept saying “apple juice”. This guy sat in my left, so I turned my head to the right to keep his head out of my eye sight, then I suddenly found a lady dressed like a rural milker, and the time was… let me figure out, Jesus, I felt I was back to the 1800’s. I began to visualize an image: a young lady holding a pot full of milk, and a cow was standing next to her, staring at me with its huge round eyes. Ting Dong… suddenly I was back to the 2005, feeling uncomfortable sitting there, partly because the ugly old man and wield lady, partly because the long flight and I have to stuck in such a small chair that could block blood from circling into my ass.

Ok ok, finally I am in Shanghai now…, I got an email that I could go to Citibank for the summer intern J I began to forgot the mentally unfortunate flight and have a positive attitude. I love Shanghai!!!